The Art of Nightmares.

This seems a little strange, I know. But it's something I really have been thinking about and I would like some response.
So if you take the time to read this whole post, please take 1 more minute to tell me your thoughts about this. Mostly just because it's interesting.
So I've been watching "Lost" lately. If you've ever seen it, then you know that, at times, it can get pretty creepy. So the other night I was up until 2 a.m. making and decorating a cake, and watching Lost.
**Spoiler!!!** If you're ever going to watch Lost, skip this paragraph.
So if you have ever seen Lost, then specifically, I was on the part where Micheal, Jin, Sawyer and  Walt take the raft out, and then they find the wine bottle with messages and assume they've crashed and Walt keeps appearing to Shannon all wet and just telling her to stay quiet, even though he's supposed to be in the raft, not on the island.
So, at 2 a.m., for a girl like me who's scared of the dark, that's a bit much to take at that time of night. I start to get afraid that I'll have nightmares, or when I look at the windows, I'll see the creepy things and people that make up Lost staring at me through the window, sucking me into the story.
But when I look at the window, my imagination doesn't imagine a dripping supposedly dead boy looking at me through the window. All I see is the real lightning and thunder of an oncoming storm, and a few bugs that want in where the light is.
Obviously, it's kind of a relief, right? I mean, I won't have nightmares. I'm not scared of it anymore. I'm getting braver! ...right?
I'm not sure. It got me thinking.
Of course, I don't want to be scared of TV shows anymore. No one does. So when we grow up, we're not scared of them like we were when we were kids, because we learn to be brave.
Or we learn that they're not real.
As a child, our imagination will run wild with what scary things will happen to us after watching something creepy like Lost. (I had many weird dreams after CSI). We see images in our room that aren't really there, and we hear noises that we make up in our minds. Why? Because our imagination is going crazy as kids.
But I don't see those images anymore. I can explain what the noises are.
What the heck, Katie?
I'm losing my imagination...losing that childlike faith in the unknown.
If I can't even create nightmares anymore, how can I create something dreamworthy?
Growing up, for a few minutes, meant that I was getting braver. I'm becoming more mature.
Growing up means that the facts are supposed to be everything. TV shows aren't real, and aren't even worthy of becoming some sort of fear before you go to sleep at night.
So then, I ask you. What's the real nightmare here?

The Art of Faith

So it's seriously been too long since I posted. Sorry about that, (Amy).

I guess I'll just launch right into it, here. 

Over the past year at college, a lot of things have happened, and I feel as if I have been forced to grow up in a year. All the sudden, my entire childhood and teenage years are just gone, and now it's finally time for me to realize that I'm an adult. 

And I'm excited and scared to death.

There are times that I can't breathe because I'm so excited, and there are times that I can't stop crying because I'm so scared. 

I've never been so scared of something in my life. I understand things now. I understand the issues of money. I mean, before, I understood it, but I never really comprehended the importance of it. 

Now I don't understand why my parents bought me all the stuff I don't need, (and still ask for because we're selfish human beings).

Anyway, I guess I just needed a place to put all of these new feelings, so I'm writing to my lack of readers here.

God has been seriously speaking to me lately. For a while, I thought that I was good with Him, but then I stepped back and looked at my life this past year, and realized that I haven't been praying, or reading my Bible, or even really going to church, and it sucks. 

So lately, as I said, God has been speaking into my life, and sending people in my life that I need, or keeping people that are already in my life. I have been seriously humbled when I step back and realize that I have spent countless hours crying and thinking that I had nobody to turn to, and I could have spent all that time praying. 

Praying.

This word has a whole new meaning to me now. As a kid growing up in a Christian home, I always prayed, and knew what it meant, but now I GET it. 

I have a need to pray. 

I don't even know how else to say it. But all this worrying needs to stop, and all the praying I should have done before needs to start now. 

He has put a new desire in my heart to be closer to Him than I ever have been before. 

I'm so excited to grow up now.

Because now, growing up means that I understand everything better. I look at the world differently than I have my whole life. I can remember what having faith like a child means, and try to practice it as an adult. 

I can change, and I can change people. 

School sucks, but that's okay. Money sucks, but that's okay. Because I'm not supposed to worry about it. God will always take care of me, and that's the only thing that matters.

So, He tells me to paint on! I will keep taking my life one day at a time, and will keep adding beautiful colors to the painting that is my life. 

Because life is an art. 

I realize now that God is not the one holding the paintbrush. I am. Because my life is my choice. But he will always be there when I don't know what to do.

The Art of Being

Wow, so it has been a while since I last wrote. Sorry about that.
Since it has been so long, I was not sure about what to write.
Everyone has to be. So the art of being has been discovered.
Being. We all are beings that be.
[the word 'being' looks a bit weird now.]
Life is chaotic, but that is what I love about it. --you never know what to expect.
So let us start at the beginning.
School is seriously and ridiculously expensive. For that reason, my parents, Chris, and I decided not to return to Valpo this semester.
It turned out to be a really hard decision. I made some of the best friends I have ever had there, and in only one semester.
Guys, I love you. This semester was amazing, and can never be repeated. We will always have crazy awesome memories that we made, and it will never be forgotten.
Leaving Valpo was bad. Tough. Sad. Awful. Whatever you wanna call it.
On another note then, piano is confusing me. We have this weird relationship where sometimes we really like each other, but then sometimes it gets all cocky, like, "WOAH, Katie, I am way better than you. Go major in psychology or art or something else."
But then my piano teacher gets to it, and then it's like, "well, okay, I guess you're good enough for me, then." *wink*
So that's one part of my life I wanna figure out, but I probably never will. I'm gonna guess that our relationship will literally be like that forever.
**
*side note. I started work 3 days ago. Money is great! People are just....not.
**
So tonight was our family Christmas. When everyone in my family is at our house, it is a hot mess. Loud, obnoxious, and totally awesome. You can't hear anyone talk unless they pretty much yell, kids are just running around being kids, a movie is on somewhere (not entertaining the kids even though that's its purpose), the smell of lasagna is wafting through the house, the kids that aren't running around are trying to open the presents, and the rest of us sit at the table, eat chips and dip and popcorn, and just talk and laugh and tell the kids they're really not hurt and to stop fake crying.
And it's awesome. I love my family more than anything in the entire world. Ending the night with a hilarious round of Boxers or Briefs, and just laughing til we die is amazing. Sometimes we don't get along, but what family does? We are amazing. I would never trade my family for anything in the world. And personally, I think I got the best.
And so, it's moments like these when I really realize how blessed I am with the art of life. So I live on, and keep painting my own painting, as I watch others own lives get painted.
Tomorrow is a new day, and a new color on the painting of my life. And it's going to be awesome.

The Art of Unstress

As much as you'd like to deny it, unstress is a very real thing. It's probably the best feeling in the world. When you are stressed out, pretty much to the maximum, then you are relieved of said stress. Perhaps because you have finished that huge project, or the burden of learning/doing something has been taken off of you.
This happened to me yesterday, and I feel absolutely amazing.
School has been...school. And school is usually kind of stressful all the time. The thing that was stressing me out the most was accompanying. For those of you lack of followers that don't know what accompanying means, it's when I play piano for her while she sings.
And I seriously suck at it.
I have been to the point of crying because I did not want to do it at all.
But, I can't just stay in denial of this kind of stuff. So I picked up the pieces she gave me to learn, and learned them.
Well, I learned 2 of the 4 she gave me.
So I was half responsible. (So I was still in denial, whatever..)
So then the time came for me to play for her in our first practice together and play together for her teacher for the first time.
And I only knew 2 of the 4 pieces.
(this is a big deal)
I wasn't really sure of what I was going to do; I would probably just end up dropping the right hand altogether and playing the left hand. Because that's how awesome I am.
So we met, and she informed me of the greatest news that I had heard in (what felt like) a really long time.
She told me that her teacher had decided to only do 2 of the 4 songs instead of all 4.
And they just happened to be the 2 songs that I had decided to learn.
All the sudden, all my prayers about this had been answered, and all of this stress about learning the songs was just lifted off me.
I have never felt so awesome before.
Now, that's not to say that I'm not stressed at all, I definitely am about other stuff, but this was the biggest  thing stressing me for the past few weeks.
Life is so awesome, sometimes. My own painting of life isn't really turning out how I expected it to be, but it's great. That's kind of the way all paintings are. You start with a picture in your head, but sometimes it just isn't what you imagined it to be, but it's even more awesome.
Yeah.
So enjoy all of life. Enjoy the love, the hate, the jealousy, the awe, and the best friendships you'll ever have. Because life is your own painting, and will be whatever you make it out to be.

The Art of Contentment

Life, right now, is awesome.
I'm going to take advantage of that fact, and write about it.
Literally, everything seems to be going well.
Piano - improving a lot more than I expected this fast.
Friendships - incredible people that I already love dearly, and old friendships renewed.
School - grades are actually doing good. Not failing. Clearly a sign of awesomeness.
Idk, my life is just going awesome right now.
School is amazing. The people here make it amazing.
Studying music is amazing. I love studying my favorite thing in the world. If I could take a dance class and an art class, then it would definitely be complete. Hopefully both are in the future.
I know that my life will not always seem as good as it does now, so I am recognizing that right now, my life is awesome.
I love college.
God gives us times in life where we just feel awesome. Like how I feel now.
There are also times where our lives just suck.
God has given me an awesome experience in college and this point in my life. I love it here and I love my friends.
Because life is an art. There are good times and bad times in life, and they all make up the painting of our individual lives. If all times were good times, we would never appreciate them. The bad times make up the accidentals of our song of life, and the black and white colors of our painting that is life itself.
Take advantage of the good times in life, because before you know it, the good times are gone.
Tomorrow is a new day! We'll see what it teaches me!

The Art of Companionship

I know this is pretty much the same as friendship, but whatever, get over it. I have more than one friend.
I have found some of the best friends here at Valpo.
I love all of them a lot, and despite only having knowing them for a month, we can already be ourselves around each other, and talk about personal stuff with each other.
I don't know what I would do without my friends here.
Everyone needs someone there for them. Without any social life, we would probably go crazy.
But also, I'm probably going crazy hanging out with these people.
...in a good way.
The people I've met here are going to impact the rest of my life. The ones I know now, and the ones that I have yet to meet.
This is real. My new friends are just as real as my old ones. (which i miss dearly.)
God brought me to this school, and He brought me the friends that I would love.
College is everything I expected it to be. I love it here.
This is a short post, I know, but I just wanted to say something about my newfound friendships.
I love all you guys. You're amazing.

The Art of Mirth

I have not had this much fun in a really long time.
This weekend was probably one of the best I will have for a while.
It started off with a train trip back to Bloomington to pick up the car, and have a dinner out with Mom, Dad, and Kendra.
I needed to see them so bad.
I love it here in Valpo, it's my home away from home. But I miss home and everyone there terribly. Seeing them was something that I really needed, and totally brought happiness back to me.
We went out to dinner, and it was really nice. Me and Kendra exchanged school teacher-stories, and stories about life in general since the 3-weeks that I had been gone. It was awesome. She's my closest friend as well as my sister, and is needed in my life.
She brought about mirth in my life.
I really wanted to see my parents, too. I wasn't sure how much I was going to be talking to them while I was here, but sometimes I just call my mom just because I want to talk to her. Just cuz I miss her and Dad.
So that was also awesome. [and mirth-...ful...?]
Then tonight was absolutely incredible!
I love road trips with people I love. Me, Daniel Segner, and Chris Hartman drove to Indy and saw My Chemical Romance and Blink 182 live.
And it. was. UHmazing.
They were so good! We screamed, and danced, and yelled, and sang along, and took a bunch of pictures, and saw their tour bus........it was just awesome!
They were great live. Their music is amazing, they had a laser show, their drummer was drumming on a ledge that tipped him sideways.. everything was just fantastic.
I can't come up with enough positive adjectives to describe the concert.
We danced up in section G, surrounded by adults who loved the band, but were "too old" to dance, and didn't care. And laughed the whole time.
The whole trip and weekend was just a fabulous time.
Laughing was something that happened a lot this weekend.
That's what mirth is all about, right? It's being happy, especially when you're laughing.
And I definitely laughed this weekend. It was a great time, and something I will never ever ever ever forget.
Best time of my life.
[this totally beat out the 'we the kings' concert]
Next concert, we'll be in the front row, and he'll give his guitar to us instead of those other people.
Life is meant to be enjoyed. This involves going to concerts, and listening to the music you love.
Because life is an art. Art is meant to be enjoyed and remembered.
This is something that won't be forgotten.
We paint everyday differently, and everyday is meant to be lived a little differently.
Laughing should be a part of everyday life, though! Mirth is something that should be around...a lot.
Enjoy life! Paint a great picture that you can look at, and always know that it turned out great!
So who knows what tomorrow will be like?
Let's live it out, and see what it looks like when the time comes.